Friday, March 28, 2008

Real Love

What is Real Love? Is there one?
I searched for it and I found some definitions, explanations and I've pasted snippets from here and there -

We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack of unconditional love is the cause of most of our anger and confusion. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for unconditional love is just as great as our physical need for air and food.

We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. The instant we do anything at all to win the approval or respect of other people—with what we say, what we do, how we look—we are paying for the attention and affection we receive, and we can’t feel genuinely loved.

Unconditional love—true love—is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name—Real Love—and definition of its own: Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. Under those conditions we’re just paying for love again. We can be certain that we’re receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.

If we don’t have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment—money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, power, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, and although Imitation Love feels good for a moment, it never lasts and never gives us the feeling of genuine happiness that Real Love provides.

You should be able to share your mistakes, flaws, and fears—they can finally see you as you really are. They can accept you and give you unconditional love, as indicated in this simple diagram:
Truth ->Seen-> Accepted-> Loved

How true it is in reality? Are there people who really have unconditional love? I don't know.

-I believe mother's love is unconditional and I have also heard of mothers who give their child for adoption, leave them in garbages.
-Men and women fall in love and they believe, its true love. These people have an unconditional love for their parents and for their mate(lover). When it comes to choosing one, the stronger love or the blind love wins. I have seen many young people leave parents who cared for 20 odd years and go with the person they knew for few days/months/years and there are few young people who feel they just cannot hurt their parents or leave them and so they sacrifice their lover. In some cases, there are people who fight for both and they win.

It all depends on us. Who do you want? Who do you really love? Without whom you cannot live...

2 comments:

Bhaskar Sree said...

interesting!!!
if only I had known the definition a few yrs ago... ;-)

Brenna said...

@Bhaskar
It always happens :)